This also isn’t new for those of you who noticed it at the bottom of the Reading Order Diagram, but here’s the cover for Marked.
Lots of exciting developments to the story line in this one 🙂
–Dean
So not much more to say there beyond what the title indicates. The rough draft for book #3 is done, which means that Katie, the girls and I will be opening up a bottle of sparkling cider tomorrow to celebrate the end of that particular project (that’s been our tradition for the last several books).
This book went in directions I didn’t anticipate. At some point that should probably stop surprising me so much. By nature any time I head into something especially tricky (like the conclusion of a series) my instinct is to outline the heck out of it so that I know what I’m getting into and have the difficult parts solved before I get to them.
I find though that for the most part my subconscious spends the bulk of the time in the driver’s seat. I generally have some idea of where I want to go, but in the end the different threads come together in ways I didn’t anticipate and other threads are introduced during the course of the book.
I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately because tomorrow afternoon/evening I’ll need to start up the next Reflections/Dark Reflections book, and I’m very nervous about it. The last time I headed into a Reflections Universe book with this much anxiety it was Lost–and for the same reason.
I’ve pretty much written to the end of what I can see. I know there are landmarks out there than I want to get to–events that need to happen, people that need introduced, secrets that need revealed, but I’m not quite sure how to get there, or even how some of those things fit together.
So far it’s always worked out to write the book in front of me, and just weave the bigger pieces in as I go, but at times like this I’m particularly worried about painting myself into a corner, so I really want to just put all of the pieces up on a massive outline and make sure that I’m not going to create any problems for myself.
I guess we’ll see which side of my brain wins this go around. Wish me luck 🙂
Dean
It‘s a bit anticlimactic for those of you who were paying close attention to my last email, but I’m finally surfacing from some of my projects enough to remember that I’ve been neglecting my blog.
So, here’s the cover for Shattered!
Also, please remember to sign up for the October Rabid Rewards drawing. We’re only a couple of days away from the deadline.
I’m happy to be able to announce That Juanita G from Arizona was the winner of the September rewards drawing. Juanita has read an astounding 21 of my stories and because of her, two of her friends have also been sucked into one of my fictional worlds 🙂
I’ve sent Juanita her advance reader copy of Shattered (Dark Reflections Volume 4) and will be sending her a signed paperback copy of Broken shortly. (It’s the final proof, so I very much hope it’s worth some money for her at some point regardless of whether she ends up keeping it or selling it 🙂
The October Rabid Rewards drawing will take place in about 2 weeks and will be for advance reader copies of both Shattered and Marked, along with a signed proof of Torn.
Thanks,
Dean
Lost (Reflections Volume 10) (AKA Isaac’s book) is now live, and it already has two 5-star reviews from awesome fans (thanks Edith and Merissa)!
Here’s the Setup:
I felt like I’d lost everything. My home, my girlfriend, my friends, they were all washed away by a group of shape shifter thugs who were determined to keep their boots on the throat of every wolf and hybrid in North America.
Graves Manor being burned to the ground was the last straw. I was relieved when Alec, the leader of our pack, told us to scatter and go to ground while he worked on a plan that would allow us to fight back against the hybrid enforcers that had come so close to killing us.
I thought Ash, Kristin and I were in for a few quiet weeks. I didn’t count on the fact that one of my companions was a ticking bomb or the fact that the other was hiding a secret that was going to change the world as I knew it.
Buy Lost as an Ebook:
From iTunes ($4.99)
From Amazon US ($4.99)
From Amazon UK (2.99 GBP)
From Barnes & Noble ($4.99)
From Smashwords ($4.99)
From Google Play ($4.99)
From Kobo ($4.99)
Lost was the most difficult book I’d ever written up to that point, but the end result has been fantastic. I have to admit that Isaac is one of my favorites.
Sorry, everyone–I’ve been meaning to post an update on this for the last several days.
I’ve drawn a winner, and have been waiting for them to get back to me. If they haven’t gotten back to me by the end of the day on Monday I’ll be drawing a new name, so if you’ve entered the rewards program and haven’t heard from me yet keep an eye out next week.
Dean
Here’s Chapter 3–I hope you all enjoy it!
—
Isaac Nazir
I-30
Eastern Texas
I pulled on a fresh set of clothes and then we ditched Ash’s car inside what I was pretty sure was the oldest, most decrepit parking garage in the city of Dallas. Ash had a lot of history with that particular car, but he walked away from it without looking back.
From there we headed on foot to a shopping mall. We spent the next four hours ducking in and out of places as we made abrupt changes to our appearances.
Kristin had a good eye for spotting security cameras, but Ash was even better. It was like he had a sixth sense when it came to anticipating where we were most likely to find blind spots. We moved quickly. We kept it down to a walk whenever there were people around, but it was a deceptively fast walk and we covered a lot of ground.
I was in so much pain by the end that it was all I could do to keep walking normally. My bandages were starting to soak through by the time that we finally ducked into another parking garage. Ash found a black SUV with a ‘for sale’ sign in it, and then convinced an early twentysomething to let him borrow her phone for a couple of minutes so that he could dial the number on the sign.
Twenty minutes after that we pulled out of the parking garage fifteen thousand dollars poorer, but driving the SUV.
Ash shook his head when I offered to drive.
“You need to replace your bandages and get some sleep. Kristin too, that’s part of the reason I picked this set of wheels. We need space so we can spread out and rest without having to sleep on top of each other.”
Kristin didn’t argue, she just reclined the passenger seat back as she closed her eyes.
“You took some damage too, you can’t be much better off than me.”
Ash shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve got some broken ribs and a ton of internal bruising, but that isn’t anything compared to the amount of blood loss that you’ve experienced. You’re tougher than me, there isn’t any disputing that, but you took some nasty blows in that fight.”
My beast bristled a little bit at the implication that I couldn’t continue to function despite everything I’d just been through, but Ash had pointed out that I had more staying power than him.
“Okay, I’ll catch some sleep. Can we pull through a drive-through on our way out of town though? We never finished up lunch and I’m going to burn through a lot of reserves healing back from what that enforcer did to me.”
“Sure. Let me keep an eye on our back trail for another five or ten minutes and then if it looks like we made a clean getaway I’ll stop somewhere and we can pick up dinner for both of us.”
“What about Kristin?”
Ash’s smile was part proud teacher and part worried boyfriend. “She’s out already and she won’t be waking up for at least four or five hours. We can stop for something later if she’s hungry.”
I started to nod before I realized what was bothering me about the situation. Kristin had fallen asleep far too quickly. Any good soldier deployed to the front lines for an extended period of time learned to get sleep wherever they could find it.
By that yardstick, it was entirely reasonable for Kristin to have dropped off quickly, but Kristin hadn’t spent months in that kind of danger recently. She’d spent a few days on the run with Ash, but the last little while had been spent at the estate with the rest of the pack. It was hard to get much safer than that.
“How long has she been dropping off instantly like that?”
“A week or two maybe. I first noticed when I stayed late in her room to watch a movie with her. She fell asleep before the opening credits had even finished rolling.”
He wasn’t telling me everything, that went without saying, but this was potentially even more serious than I’d realized. Now that she was asleep, Kristin smelled wrong somehow.
I didn’t figure it out until Ash exited the interstate and pulled up to the drive-through window. Kristin had been stressed out while we’d been running from the cops, but she’d kept it under control. If I hadn’t been able to smell the adrenaline coming out of her pores I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell that she was rattled at all.
She was more freaked out now than she’d been then. I’d never seen anything like that; I would have said that it wasn’t possible for someone to remain asleep with that much adrenaline in their system. She’d fallen asleep without ever calming down.
My suspicions were confirmed when she started thrashing around and screaming as we pulled back onto the main road.
“She’s being attacked by Dream Stealer.”
For a second I thought Ash was going to pretend that he hadn’t heard me.
“Yeah. He’s got his hooks pretty deep into her. She’s not getting any real sleep most nights. She tried to go without sleep, but eventually she got to the point where the exhaustion was stronger than even the terror of what he’d do next.”
“She needs to be locked up! It’s only a matter of time before he breaks her, and when that happens there isn’t anything that she won’t do.”
“No. We aren’t locking her up. We’ll keep her in the dark so she can’t pass anything important on; she’s already started cutting herself out of the loop when it comes to operational stuff.”
“That isn’t good enough, Ash, and you know it. Even if we can keep her in the dark when it comes to Alec and the others, that won’t protect the three of us. It’s for her safety as much as it is for ours. For all you know she was the reason that we got jumped earlier today.”
“She wasn’t. I’ve been careful not to tell her where we are headed on any given day.”
“That explains why you’ve been so evasive lately, but you did tell me and I might have told her.”
“When? The three of us have hardly been out of sight of each other since we left Nevada.”
My beast should have been ready to rip Ash’s head off, but I couldn’t seem to muster the energy for real anger. Maybe it was all of the blood that I’d lost, that or maybe I was just tired.
I wasn’t mad, I just wanted to go somewhere I wouldn’t have to deal with the inherent messiness of pack life. My life had turned into some kind of federal disaster area and I was ready to be done with it.
“I don’t know, Ash. Maybe you’re right and I never had a chance to tell her where we were headed, but I can’t guarantee that, which means that we may have just broken radio silence for no reason. I can’t believe that you’ve kept this to yourself. You’re not usually this reckless.”
“I didn’t keep it to myself, at least not completely. Alec knows. That’s why he wanted you to come along with Kristin and me. My plan was to just take her away somewhere safe, somewhere she couldn’t do any harm if he manages to break her, but Alec ordered me to bring you along.”
“I wish he would have told me the score for a change, but it makes sense. By yourself it would just be a matter of time before you ended up dead. Once Dream Stealer turned her, she’d just have to wait until you fell asleep and then you’d be a sitting duck. This way we can watch each other’s backs at least.”
I would have been happy to just leave things there, but Ash was apparently made of sterner stuff even than I’d realized.
“That isn’t the only reason Alec wanted you to come with us.”
“I know, Ash. He’s hoping that I’ll be able to put her down if she becomes too dangerous to allow for any other option.”
“I’m not just going to stand by and let you kill her, Isaac. I’ll fight you if it comes to that.”
Ash had both of his hands on the steering wheel, there wasn’t ever going to be a better time to deal with him than right now. The temptation was overwhelming. If I waited, then I was eventually going to have to fight him on his terms, and that was a fight I might not be able to win.
I sighed and leaned back in my tan leather seat. “Why did you even agree to have me come along then, Ash? I get not wanting to see Kristin get hurt, I would have done almost anything to protect Jess, but you could have just saved both of us a lot of headache and gone off by yourself like you were planning.”
“I wanted you along because I’ll need your help if I’m going to have any chance of hunting Dream Stealer down.”
It was too fantastical to believe. A guy like Alec could talk about hunting down and killing someone like Dream Stealer or Puppeteer, but that was because he was in the same league as them. Alec could mow down normal hybrids like pawns on a chessboard simply by unleashing his ability on them and draining them dry.
These days the only hybrid who could hope to consistently beat Alec was Puppeteer, and even that wasn’t guaranteed. Ash and I didn’t have those kinds of advantages. Even if we could find Dream Stealer he’d be surrounded by enforcers like the one who had just wiped the floor with me. There was no way that the two of us could hope to bring down a member of the Coun’hij by ourselves. It was something worse than a suicide mission—we would die without any hope of succeeding.
“That’s never going to happen, Ash, and you know it. Maybe if we could find Dream Stealer then Alec could put together a strike force capable of bringing him down, but there is literally zero chance of the two of us finding him. He’s got more than two hundred years of practice at staying hidden.”
“I have a plan. It’s a long shot, but I think it could work. The only question is whether you’re in.”
I rubbed my forehead, trying to buy myself time to think. “Tell me again why you picked me instead of someone else? There were a lot of hybrids back at the estate you could have asked Alec to send in my place.”
“I picked you because you were the best option. You’re no enforcer, but you’ve got more combat experience than most hybrids four or five times your age. You know your way around the technology side of things, so you can help run a stable of hackers if it comes to that.”
“That kind of talent doesn’t come cheap.”
“I know, but money isn’t an issue. I made off with plenty when I left home. I can fund any conceivable spend for at least a few months. I just need someone who can talk the talk well enough to keep whatever talent I bring onboard honest. Besides, Alec trusts you, probably even more than you realize. He’s not going to be willing to send a strike force of his best and brightest into danger on the word of just anyone.”
“He trusts you too, Ash.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if he trusts me that much. If he sends a force that size into a trap it will be the end of the rebellion. It’s a big ask. With the two of us to confirm each other’s story he’ll be more likely to believe that it’s a real opportunity. Alec knows that you aren’t particularly fond of Kristin or me. You won’t buy off on an attack op unless you believe it’s the real deal—not just to save Kristin.”
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed, loud enough that it should have woken Kristin up, but she didn’t even stir.
“So I got signed up for a suicide mission because I don’t like you. That’s karma if I’ve ever heard of it.”
“That’s not the only reason, Isaac. I wanted you because I knew you would understand what I was going through. You may not like us, but you’d do the same thing for Jess if our positions were reversed. More than any of the others, you understand me.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right there. I know what it feels like to worry that you’ve lost the single most important person in your life.”
Here’s chapter 2 of Lost! I hope you all enjoy it!
—
Chapter 2
Isaac Nazir
Right-Size Burger and Gas
Outside of Dallas, Texas
Ash started moving while I was still scanning the burger joint for threats. He grabbed all of the food he could hold in his left hand and started towards the door without looking back. Kristin was half a step behind him with a big fountain drink in her free hand, but I caught up with the two of them before they made it outside.
We were almost back to Ash’s car when the first bruiser stepped around the corner of the building. That was apparently the signal because other guys started appearing from behind trees and cars.
Ash was in the lead and he never even broke stride. The first guy, a heavily-tattooed Latino, tried to hit him, but Ash checked the blow, stepping into his opponent and driving an elbow into the guy’s throat. It was a killing blow against a human, but Ash didn’t take any chances. He followed his elbow up by spinning the first guy around and throwing him headfirst into the side of the building.
“Get into the car!”
Kristin didn’t look like she was happy about Ash’s order, but she already had her keys out and was only two steps from the car. I paced her, half a step behind as my mind finished processing the situation.
Three more guys had almost reached us, but none of them were giving off the characteristic energy surge I would have expected from shape shifters. Ash stepped forward to deal with the guy on his side of the car as Kristin threw herself across the passenger seat, and then it was my turn.
The taller of my two opponents, a skinny white guy with a mohawk, threw a jab at me, but everything about the attack was human-slow. I didn’t try to block it. I could have probably absorbed the blow without going down if it had come to that. Being a shape shifter made me strong and let me take a lot more damage than a human, even in this form, but there wasn’t any need to take the hit.
I lashed out with my fist, connecting with his strike and shattering his hand and wrist in a move that no trained fighter would have used, but that was okay, I’d never trained to fight as a human. There wasn’t any reason to waste time learning to fight in this form, not when there was still so much to learn about fighting as a hybrid.
A flicker of motion brought me around just in time to intercept an elbow strike from the next guy. I hit his arm with an open palm a split second before he would have connected with my throat and then stepped in and hit him in the ribs with the other hand.
He went down to one knee from the sheer shock of having the entire right side of his chest caved in, and then I spun back around and punched the taller guy in the throat with a blow that was carefully measured so that I wouldn’t break his neck.
My side of the exchange had taken less than two seconds. Ash’s car roared to life as I looked up just in time to see a new guy step up behind Ash and hit him in the kidney hard enough to shatter Ash’s floating ribs.
A normal human would have probably collapsed on the spot, but Ash was a shape shifter. He wasn’t particularly strong or fast as a wolf, and he’d never manifested a hybrid form, but he was still one of us. Ash blocked the next blow with his elbow, and then he stuck a knife in the new guy.
It wasn’t a very big knife, but Ash knew how to use a knife with the best of them. I expected the new guy to fall to the ground in a spray of blood, but he just backhanded Ash across the parking lot. It was the kind of thing you sometimes saw in a movie, but it was next to impossible for a normal human to hit someone that hard.
The pieces clicked into place. This last guy wasn’t just local muscle like the rest—he was a shape shifter, and based off of his tattoos and piercings, he was a Coun’hij enforcer. I’d already started forward to back Ash up. For all I knew getting thrown across the parking lot had been part of Ash’s plan all along. It got him far enough away to get his handgun into play, which was his best chance against a hybrid, but it was still a plan born of desperation.
Ash was on the ground, off balance and disoriented from the force of the blow he’d taken. He was fast, but a hybrid was faster. Luckily Ash wasn’t by himself, he had me.
Shifting forms in public went against everything I’d been taught since I’d first found out that I wasn’t like other kids, but I didn’t even think twice about it. My beast cut loose with a hammer blow of power and between one step and the next my human body exploded out into the hulking form of my hybrid shape.
The wash of power was unmistakable for one of our kind, and the other shape shifter spun back towards me to honor the greater threat that I represented. He shifted as he moved, and then I crashed into him.
In this form I was nearly six feet seven inches tall and I was several hundred pounds heavier than I’d been just a few seconds before, but I still gave up more than fifty pounds and nearly a full inch to the new guy.
I’d hoped to bowl him over with my initial rush, but he dug in and dropped his shoulder. We stumbled back away from each other, rocked by the force of the impact, and then he slashed at me with seven inches of razor-sharp semi-retractable claws that were harder than steel.
I moved forward, trying to get inside the arc of his attack, but he ducked under my arm and tore a long gash in my side. I reversed direction and checked his next attack, grabbing his left arm a split second before he could sink it into my back.
I didn’t try to hold onto him as he tore his wrist free, he was stronger than me, but I managed to nick a couple of the smaller veins in his arm in exchange. He darted toward me and I slapped his claws away, but he was even faster than I’d realized.
His other hand came out of nowhere and buried itself in my stomach. Even my hybrid body couldn’t continue to take that level of damage for much longer. Every nerve I had lit up in agony, but I ignored that and threw myself backward.
The Coun’hij guy didn’t want to let me go, he tightened his grip and tried to pull me closer, but that just provided me with the leverage that I’d been looking for. I walked up the side of his body, sinking the talons on my feet into his legs and chest as I extended his arm all of the way out.
His claws pulled free of my gut and then I heaved against his shoulder with every ounce of strength I had. I’d seen Carson do something similar in a sparring session back at the estate before everything had fallen apart. Done right, it dislocated the other guy’s shoulder, but either I hadn’t managed to execute the technique correctly, or the other hybrid was just too strong for it to work.
For one long second I thought I had him, but then he started reeling me back in. I would have said that nobody was strong enough to lift me by one arm like that, but this guy didn’t just lift me, he whipped me through the air and slammed me into the side of the gas station.
I initially thought that the popping noise I was hearing was my vertebrae, but as I stumbled away from the wall I realized that the other hybrid hadn’t stayed around to finish me off.
Kristin had screamed to a stop a couple of feet from where Ash had landed and they both had their guns out. The Coun’hij enforcer had disappeared behind the detached car wash in an effort to avoid the hail of bullets that they’d sent his way, but there was too much blood on the pavement for it all to be mine.
I started after the other hybrid, but Ash yelled at me before I could make it more than a step or two.
“Get to the car, they wouldn’t have been waiting if they didn’t have more people coming, and the cops are on their way!”
Part of me wanted to argue with him, but he was right. I turned and sprinted towards the car, huge hybrid legs devouring the distance. Ash climbed inside the vehicle as soon as I started moving, but Kristin sped up her rate of fire to compensate. It only took her about a second to shoot herself dry, but that was all that Ash needed to get into position behind her and he picked up firing with hardly any break at all.
Kristin was on the move now, the car was already doing twenty, but Ash managed to space his shots out just enough to keep the enforcer pinned down for the extra second it took me to catch up with the car.
I managed to shift back to human form on the run without stumbling, and then threw myself into the car just before Kristin cranked it up to forty.
“How did they find us? My phone wasn’t on for long enough to track.”
Kristin didn’t look away from the road. “Are you sure of that? It’s the logical explanation.”
Ash shook his head as he scanned our surroundings for somewhere we could lose the cops. “No, Isaac is right. Those guys had to be moving into position even before Isaac turned his phone on. One hybrid and a car full of hired muscle—they’d been tracking us before we even stopped for gas, it’s the only explanation. It was an opportunistic hit; they knew where we were and happened to have one guy and some contacts in the area where we stopped.”
“That means that they have something other than cell phone tracking in play then. Alec needs to know that, every single one of his people could be walking into traps as we speak.”
Ash didn’t look happy, but this time he couldn’t argue with me. “Fine. Get your phone powered on. You have one minute before it needs to go back off and this time just pull the battery. It’s going to be anyone’s guess as to whether or not we’re going to be able to lose the police.”
I fished my phone back out of the compartment inside my ha’bit where I stored it and pushed the power button. It was going to take forty-five seconds to boot up, so I reached back into the back seat for the first-aid kit next to Ash. If we ended up on foot at some point over the next hour or two then I needed to not look like I’d just finished fighting for my life.
I slapped a big square of white gauze over the hole in my stomach and then used half of a roll of tape to hold it in place. I finished right as my phone finished booting up. Alec picked up on the first ring.
“Isaac, I thought you guys were going to stay dark for the next few days.”
“Yeah, not that anyone bothered to tell me that before we left.” I wanted to say more, but I knew it wasn’t the time or place for recriminations. “We just got jumped. One hybrid, who was probably hoping not to have to get involved, and a bunch of local thugs. It looked like they had someone else on the way.”
There was a second of silence as Alec digested the news. “So they were tracking you. You’re positive that you all had your phones off the entire time?”
“Yeah, I had mine on for about fifteen seconds, but that isn’t long enough to run any kind of trace on it.”
He cut me off before I could finish explaining. “Then we don’t have proof. Are you guys going to be able to help if another team in the area runs into the same kind of problems?”
Ash responded before I could. “No, we have to go to ground in the next five minutes or we’re going to end up in a jail somewhere. Is there anything you can do to take some heat off of us?”
“No. The Chicago pack just went silent, and I suspect that all of the rest of our people are in hot water up to their necks. I’ll let you know as soon as I can shake someone loose to help out, but for now you guys are on your own.”
It’s official, Lost is now available for pre-order on iBooks. You can find Isaac’s book here:
I think that means that you can download the sample (something like the first 10% of the book), but for those of you who don’t have an Apple device, here’s the first chapter of Lost. I hope you enjoy it and that you’re as excited for Oct 10th to arrive as I am!
—
Chapter 1
Isaac Nazir
Right-Size Burger and Gas
Outside of Dallas, Texas
Things had been…strained between Ash and I since the attack on the estate. I guess that’s the right word, the right English word. I know a few other languages and there are some other words that are a better fit, but they aren’t that much better of a fit. No word really captures the true level of tension you get when you lock two shape shifters who don’t like each other inside of a car for more than a day.
Under other circumstances I could have probably gotten along just fine with Ash. He was competent and deadly, which are two of the characteristics that most shape shifters think are the most important in any individual. Competent means that you won’t have to worry about cleaning up after them. Deadly means that they can protect themselves and maybe even watch your back if you end up against some kind of external threat.
That’s good—there are a lot of external threats out there when you’re a shape shifter. Vampires, werewolves, even other shape shifter packs, and that’s just the more common stuff. The problem is that the external threats have only ever banded us together for a short time. Sooner or later we always ended up turning on each other. Which is exactly what happened again outside of Dallas less than twenty-four hours after we split off from the rest of Alec’s people.
“Turn the cell phone off, Isaac.”
Kristin had disappeared a minute before having mumbled something about needing a bathroom break while Ash and I ordered food from the cheerily-painted burger joint that was attached to the gas station.
“Back off, Ash. Alec said his guys have things under control. I need to check in and make sure I haven’t missed a call from anyone.”
“Look, I get it. You’re worried about Andrew, Jess, and the rest. Trust me, it can wait until we make it to the safe house that I’ve got lined up for us. Until then we’d be stupid to rely on Alec’s hackers to protect us. We’re safer just leaving the phones off.”
“He’s right. Besides, I can basically guarantee that Jessica isn’t going to be calling you anytime soon.”
I’d heard Kristin leave the restroom; I should have known that she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut.
“This doesn’t involve you.”
Ash shut her up with a look before she could launch into whatever scathing retort she had on the end of her tongue. Once he was confident she was going to stay silent for at least the next three seconds he turned back to me.
“Actually, it does. I know that you’re good with this kind of stuff, but you don’t want to go head to head with the best hackers on the Coun’hij payroll, not like this—working off of a shoestring with everything at stake for the three of us as well as Alec, Jess and the others.”
“Stop saying Jess’ name. There is zero reason for the two of you to keep bringing her up. Alec said that he wanted everyone to stay on comms. If you had a problem with that, you should have brought it up with him before we left.”
“Are you mental? We keep mentioning Jess because she’s still all you think about. We aren’t idiots, this is all about Jess.”
Ash didn’t look particularly happy at Kristin’s decision to jump back in the conversation.
“I did talk to Alec before we left, Isaac. I explained my concerns to him and he agreed that it would be a good idea to have a couple of the groups stay silent for a while in case his hackers couldn’t keep a lid on things.”
“Why wasn’t I informed? I’ve been with him for longer than the two of you, and this is my area of expertise.”
“You were too busy trying to get Jess to give you one more chance before she left with Wyatt.”
I spun around and took a step towards Kristin. I was moving fast—not as fast as I could have, not in public, I wasn’t that far gone—but I still only made it a single step before I heard a click as Ash pulled the hammer back on the big .45 semi-auto that he always had somewhere close at hand. It wasn’t a loud sound, but given just how distinctive that particular sound is—and the sensitivity of my hearing—it froze me in my tracks.
“You wouldn’t dare, not in a public place like this.”
My words were something less than a whisper. Kristin wouldn’t be able to hear them, but she apparently didn’t need to know what was being said to know that things had just gotten serious. I could tell by the way that she was standing against the wall that she already had her pistol out, screened behind her body, but ready to go at a second’s notice.
“Isaac, don’t push me. You’d be surprised what I’d be willing to do right now. The police response time out here is at least three minutes. Kristin and I can easily lose ourselves downtown before the police can tighten a noose around us. Turn the phone off—now—or you’ll force my hand. You can possibly beat one of us, but you can’t take both of us, not in human form, not when we are standing so far apart.”
I tried to stay loose, but my body tensed up as I calculated odds. My beast wanted a piece of Ash and Kristin both. Neither of them was a match for us, and we were tired of being pushed around.
The temptation to shift forms and lunge towards Ash was nearly overpowering. I’d had a harder time keeping my cool lately, but this was more than that. Dominance was important. It wasn’t just about establishing a pecking order inside of a pack, it was about figuring out who the go-to guys and gals were for when things got dicey. It was about figuring out who called the shots when lives were on the line.
In a bad pack, one that was unhealthy, dominance fights ended up with someone dead more often than not, but it didn’t have to be like that. In a good pack, dominance fights were a way of blowing off steam before things heated up to the point that people felt like the only choice left for them was to try and kill someone. It was more about knowing where you fit in. Once you knew that, it was a lot easier to deal with everyone, and if someone started pushing too hard then the two of you beat the tar out of each other until someone came out on top.
That was how it was supposed to work, and if you had a decent alpha who made sure that nobody got too carried away it was a good system, only Ash threw everything off. He didn’t have a prayer of standing up to me without his weapons so he didn’t even try. There weren’t any shades of gray with Ash, everything was binary for him.
Something was either worth fighting over or it wasn’t. If it wasn’t then you could push him around with an almost reckless abandon, but if it was important, then he’d pull a weapon on you so fast that your head would spin. For Ash, if it was worth fighting over then it was worth dying over.
I’d thought that things were pretty rough when we’d been up against Brandon’s pack, but even then there had usually been a kind of underlying honor code to the war. Ash had been trained by people who didn’t let anything get in the way of their objective.
“You’re out of time, Isaac. Your phone just finished booting up. If someone is looking for you they’ll be able to ping it within the next few seconds. I won’t ask again.”
I looked over at my right hand and realized that I hadn’t ever put my phone back in my pocket. Ash was right, it was decision time. If I was right, then he was getting really worked up over nothing, but even if I was right, he’d backed me into a corner. Killing Ash and Kristin wouldn’t actually accomplish anything. Best-case scenario I ended up by myself and on the run from the cops, worst-case scenario I’d be dead. Neither option put me in a position to help Jess or anyone else.
I reached over and powered down my phone. “One of these days you’re going to push me too far, Ash.”
“Yeah, I know. Believe me when I say that I don’t look forward to that day any more than you do.”
The cute brunette behind the counter put the last of our order on the two trays she’d been assembling and gave the three of us a cheery smile.
“Here you go, have a nice day.”
She’d never even suspected that the restaurant had been a hair’s breadth from turning into a war zone. I mustered up what I hoped was a convincing smile of my own, and picked up the second tray.
Ash and I sat at separate booths. It wasn’t something that either of us had ever discussed; it was just one of those things. You don’t chain two pit bulls inside the same cage unless you want them to fight. Keeping a buffer of space between us usually kept things from boiling over as frequently.
Kristin moved like a professional herself these days. She’d always been dangerous, at least she’d been that way for as long as I’d known her, but Ash had honed her to a fine edge during the last few months. She stayed clear of Ash’s right hand at all times and she kept hers free too.
“It’s days like today that make me wonder how many times back home I was completely oblivious to the fact that people were just about to kill each other. I used to work in a place like this, you know.”
I unwrapped my first burger as I considered Kristin’s comment. “That must have been nice, a normal life. Do you miss it?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you kidding? I spent every waking minute trying to find a way out of that place. The last thing I ever wanted to be was ordinary. This isn’t quite the way I originally planned on trying to make my mark on the world, but it’s a ton better than the life most of the kids from my school will be looking at once they graduate.”
Ash didn’t seem particularly interested in joining in the conversation. He was paying attention, I’d never seen Ash be anything other than on, but he simply grabbed another handful of fries.
“You can’t really mean that, Kristin. The three of us are living on borrowed time. We’re probably not going to make it through the year. Even if Alec’s war against the Coun’hij ends up going our way, we’ll still have targets on our back. There will always be another set of bad guys who need taken down. The vampires or the jaguars will practically be lining up for a shot at toppling Alec from the throne. Anyone in their right mind would choose a normal, safe life in a heartbeat.”
That earned me a frown. Kristin took in all of the empty tables and booths around us in one sweeping gesture.
“Safety is an illusion. It’s all relative. Someone could walk through those doors tomorrow and gun down a dozen ‘normal’ people who just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. People think that they’re safe, but they’re just a bunch of sheep. I’d rather know what is going on around me, and die having done the best I could to save myself, than just wander around in a daze hoping that my number hasn’t come up on any given day.
“You can romanticize about the joys of a normal life all you want, but the truth is that a normal life is mostly just a lot of drudgery—the soul-crushing monthly mortgage payment kind of drudgery—and ninety-nine out of a hundred people wish that they could be different, that they could be special somehow. You fantasize about normal life because it’s something you’ve never had. It’s the most compelling argument you could have made as to the fact that you’ve always been special.”
My beast wanted to lash out at her—verbally would do despite not being as satisfying—but I knew that wasn’t the right response. Kristin wasn’t trying to be in my face, she just felt strongly about this subject. I brought my beast under control with a shadow of the smoothness that had been my trademark for so many years, but I got it under control.
I’d thought James was just undisciplined, but now I wasn’t so sure of that. Maybe I’d just been taking credit all of that time for something that had nothing to do with me. I’d thought it was my will and self-control that made me who I was, but those things don’t just evaporate between one day and the next.
I’d spent a lot of time recently trying to convince myself that I was still in control, but the truth was that I wasn’t, not fully. Everything had changed when Jess had lost her memories. I’d never realized how much Jess and Andrew had grounded me.
I’d thought I was something unique, but once Jess had lost her memories she’d become a different person and I’d lost the cornerstone of my world. Andrew had tried to still be there for me, but we both knew that things couldn’t be the same. Maybe they could have been if I hadn’t kept pushing Jess, but I had. Andrew had been forced to make a choice between the daughter who’d lost her memory and me.
He’d made the right choice and I respected him for it, but it didn’t make things any easier. I was drifting in the middle of a black ocean with no land in sight.
I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, and when I looked back over at Kristin I felt at least a little bit like my old self.
“Maybe you’re right, but since I’ve never had the benefit of a normal, safe life, you’ll just have to pardon me if I continue to long for something different.”
I’d meant it as a peace offering. It wasn’t perfect, but considering how much friction there had been between the three of us lately, it wasn’t a bad attempt. I’d thought I’d get an eye roll, or maybe a smile. I hadn’t expected Kristin to go completely white and stop breathing.
“Guys, we need to get out of here right now! I’ve dreamed this before and what happens next isn’t pretty.”
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